BARlines

Encore

Noah’s Ark Is Discovered in Pennsylvania

In BARlines, BAR 16:06, we reported tongue-in-cheek that hell had been discovered nine miles under Siberia, as reported in a prophecy magazine called The Midnight Cry. A number of readers took us seriously and wrote us critical letters (see Queries & Comments, in this issue.).

So we’re taking no chances this time: we don’t for a minute believe the report in the supermarket checkout tabloid Weekly World News (published in Lantana, Florida) that “Noah’s Ark [Has Been] Found in Pennsylvania.” According to a screaming frontpage headline, the ark “looks exactly like [sic] the Bible says.”

The discovery is attributed to “a French archaeologist” named “Dr. Gene Chevalier” who is not otherwise identified. The ark is supposedly 475 feet long and is “still in one piece.”

“I’ve found the ark,” said “Dr.” Chevalier, without doubt or qualification. Although not a religious man, he’s “beginning to think I’m on a divine mission, ordained by God.” “Dr.” Chevalier believes that when he finally gets the ark out of the ground, “It will prove that everything the Bible said about Noah and the Great Flood is true.”

In the meantime, “Dr.” Chevalier has only a piece of wood he identifies as gopherwood to support his claim, and some bones he says are of extinct animals that “apparently died on the vessel.”